When Yoga Feels Like Too Much: Coping with MS Flare-Ups

If there’s one thing about flare-ups, it’s that they never give you a fair chance to prepare. Imagine my surprise in November when a slew of new symptoms since my diagnosis in 2019, hit me like a ton of bricks on my drive home from teaching a yoga class. To say my life flashed before my eyes is an understatement. We know flare-ups don’t play fair, and it’s the one thing we all hope to avoid. The grief of navigating something new taking over my body when I thought I was doing well, is something we don’t talk about enough. On top of that, the ways we normally cope suddenly seem out of reach.

That was my reality. Even getting to my yoga mat felt impossible and so inaccessible. That’s when I reflected on how I cope when flare-ups hit.

I never saw this flare-up coming. Everything in my life seemed to be flowing. My businesses were thriving, yoga classes were seamless, and new opportunities were presenting themselves. However, all those “good” things were also taking away from my self-care.

Flare-ups remind us how crucial it is to care for ourselves and as much as I hate to admit it, I was burnt out and stressed. My body made sure I understood this on that cold November day, rattling my world for the rest of the year.

I knew I had to slow down, breathe, and be kind to myself but all I wanted to do was push through the pain, which only made things worse. Suddenly, the tools I’ve always relied on such as yoga, meditation, and mindfulness felt impossible. Maybe you’ve felt the same? I couldn’t even teach yoga the way I was used to. I found myself sitting on a meditation cushion, leading others, and that’s when the guilt set in. I felt like I couldn’t do it for my students, or myself.

Here are a few things that helped me stay grounded during my recent flare-up:

1. Gentle breathing: Deep inhales and exhales helped calm my nervous system and racing mind.

2. Bed Yoga: It became my saving grace. It helped reduce stiffness, my anxiety and panic. I have a reel on @weareillmatic that shows some good bed yoga poses.

3. Hydration: Drinking water consistently to combat dehydration, which can worsen symptoms.

4. Rest without guilt: Recognizing that rest is part of the healing process, just like an extended Savasana.

Flare-ups remind us of our bodies’ fragility and how important it is to extend ourselves grace during tough times. While it’s easy to feel defeated, my experience taught me that honoring my body with compassion during a flare-up is just as important as any yoga practice and that yoga is on and off the mat. The tools I rely on are still valuable even in moderation. I’m learning to let go of the guilt that often comes with “not doing enough” as a yoga instructor living with an invisible illness.

We all deserve to care for ourselves and our bodies the best we know how. Even when our bodies feel like they’re betraying us.