BALANCING THE ROLE OF MS IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Whether you are newly diagnosed with MS or a seasoned MS thriver, the role MS plays in a marriage is a big role. However, it is not the main role. Our marriages, commitment and connection goes much deeper than a diagnosis.
It took a few years after my diagnosis and many relapses later to realize that MS didn’t have to be the sole focus of my marriage but we could learn how to balance it all. Having MS, we can allow it to reign and set up precedence over everything else in our life. It left me feeling emotionally drained and handicapped to any productivity. As a married couple, think about all of the goals and future endeavors the two of you dreamt of and wanted to accomplish. Post MS diagnosis, I realized it can invade our lives, causing us to leave all of our hopes and dreams on the back burner never to revisit.
It is important to remember that you are still the amazing individual you were before MS and you are still the couple who fell in love with each other. There is still so much more to all of us than just being a person with MS. It might take some time to learn how to balance it all, but it is possible. I learned to rediscover the deep love Darryl and I share and all of the wonderful aspects of our relationship. I then began to shift my focus on that. We are what we think and what we think we become. I began to think higher, positive thoughts rather than the thoughts that lowered my spirits with “woe is me.”
I began to reflect on who I was as an individual (strong, tenacious and resilient) and began to allow those qualities to regain power in my life again. Soon, my overall outlook transformed. I was once again a strong, resilient woman, wife, mother, entrepreneur and, oh yeah, MS thriver. My strength preceded me and I regained being an outgoing woman full of life. A woman who wanted to experience the fullness of life, love, friendships, etc. My will to live became my mantra and focus. Our lives and experiences shape our life, but it is also meant to be a testament to show someone else they too can make it through anything life throws at them, including MS.
