RELATIONSHIPS AND MS
Having multiple sclerosis comes with so much! Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be diagnosed with this disease. There are so many things that you must learn how to navigate through, one of those being relationships. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, or family relationships, multiple sclerosis can deeply affect them.
I have been blessed because multiple sclerosis hasn’t had too much of an effect on my current relationships. My family and friends are so supportive and loving. I couldn’t ask for a better support system. For me personally, it’s attempting to start new romantic and platonic relationships that usually may pose some type of challenge. What’s the best way to tell someone you have a disease that has no cure? When should you disclose that information? How do you explain I can feel fantastic one day and the next I need to lay in bed all day? Again, whether it be a new friend or a romantic relationship, it can be challenging.
What works for me may not work for everyone and I understand that. MS can look like so many different things for each person. Some individuals may have a cane or may use a wheelchair, so things are right up front. For me, I get “You don’t look sick,” which may be true, but inside my body is the complete opposite.
Here are some ways I choose to go about dealing with having MS and relationships.
1. I am open and truthful.
I choose to disclose my MS diagnosis early and explain what that means for me. I share that sometimes I’m feeling well or can do many things and other times I simply cannot. I may have blurry eyesight or muscle weakness at times. I let it be known that although I may deal with these different symptoms, I’m still Amber 😊
2. I understand that NOT everyone will know exactly how to react or what having MS entails.
I never get upset if someone says or asks something that may be a little “strange.” A lot of people don’t know what multiple sclerosis is. I really didn’t know what it was until being diagnosed. Taking my time answering any questions and explaining different information about the disease is very important to me. I really appreciate someone wanting to understand this part of me.
3. I remain positive when speaking about myself and the disease.
It is so easy to focus on all the negative that comes with MS but I choose to focus on the positive as much as I can. When building new relationships, or even with existing ones, I think this is so important. I will always take time to highlight all the positive things about myself. I have multiple sclerosis but I’m still a fun and loving person.
4. I know when to let go.
It can stink having to let go of a relationship, whether you have MS or not. But understanding that it is unfortunately a part of life helps. With multiple sclerosis, it is possible that it just may be too much for a partner or friend. They may not understand exactly what you are going through or have the capacity to be there for you how you may need them to. Personally, I do not want to be friends or in a romantic relationship with someone who can not handle me at my worst. If they are unable to do so, they don’t deserve me at my best.
We are so much more than this disease. We are mothers, sisters, aunties, doctors, teachers, and anything you can think of. We are worthy of healthy relationships. Whether it is maintaining a current relationship or starting a new one, it will take patience and understanding from both sides. Always do what’s best for you.