MARRIAGE MAINTENANCE AND MS
Marriage isn’t just about becoming happier, but rather becoming better. Marriage is the most important and in-depth relationship we will ever experience. A bond that is between two lovers sacrificing and becoming selfless to both strive, helping each other become the best versions of themselves. In the early years of my marriage, I didn’t think much about the real work of maintaining our love. I just thought we would always feel deep love and passion for each other and that would sustain our marriage. Now, of course, I know better. Deep love and affection for one another is good to have but that alone is not enough to sustain a marriage that will last. I look at marriage as a “living organism” and anything that’s alive thrives because it has been properly cared for and our marriages are no different. Over the years, we implemented practices — some worked and others not so much. But now for the last seven years of my marriage Darryl and I have incorporated this one thing and it not only has brought clarity in several areas, but it has brought much success in our marriage. I want to share it with you.
Create an action plan
If you fail to plan, plan on failing. Anyone or any entity that has success has also created a plan of action to navigate how to get it done and achieve success. Who says we can’t plan for a marriage that is healthy and successful? We can! Our marriages are much more important than material things and it deserves the opportunity to succeed. We all gravitate to people and things that are successful and get inspired and ask, “How did they do that?” The answer? Action and execution creates success.
An action plan can look like scheduling monthly marriage check-ins. Utilize your check-ins to create your “how, what, where, when” plans for your marriage, present and future. Do you want to purchase a home or buy rental properties? A savings action plan can help you reach those goals. A personal favorite of my husband and I is using our check-ins to discuss finances, check goals, roles and responsibilities, or discuss any needed changes.
Our dates and quality time together for the month are also planned. Additionally, we have a health plan, which includes pre-planning for all of my DMT (disease-modifying therapy) infusions, health checks, exams and tests needed, and digitally syncing them to our calendars. We have also scheduled time for us to be rejuvenated so we plan to attend marriage events like marriage retreats, classes or an activity, which will continue to build us up stronger as a couple.
As an MS thriver, I’ve found that the more intentionally organized I am, the less I forget important things when contending with brain fog.
The responsibility to care for and maintain our marriages is ours. If you feed it, it thrives. If you starve it, it dies from malnourishment. Which is the better marriage?
