PARENTING WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

Getting diagnosed with multiple sclerosis is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. And I am grateful I have a strong family supporting me. Although I do have an amazing family, I am a single parent.  Some days it can be overwhelming and other days it is a piece of cake. I am still learning how to navigate it all. Every day I wake up, do my best and try my hardest to make sure my children are never tainted. I often feel “mom guilt” because I may not have the energy to do something one of my children wants to do, or I may not be up for going somewhere. Having to say “No, I can’t make it.” Or “Mommy is really sleepy, baby. maybe next time.” Is really upsetting sometimes to them as well as me. They are still working to navigate this disease that affects their mother as well. As much as I have to say no, I must suck it up and get things done as well. With me being the only parent, sometimes saying no to getting something done is not an option. 

“My children — ages 11 and 21 — are a bit older, but multiple sclerosis is still something they don’t fully comprehend. We’ve talked about it and they understand to the best of their ability and that’s okay with me.”

 Five things that I have to come to live by and that really help me with parenting with as I continue to navigate MS are:

1. Planning ahead and being prepared.
I make meals ahead of time, setting up arrangements when necessary. Whatever can be pre-planned ahead of time, I do, like making sure the car is packed with soccer and basketball necessities for myself as well as the kids. The preparation really helps.    

2. Knowing when to ask for help.
We don’t always have to be superwoman. It is okay to ask for help. You will be surprised — family and friends are more willing to help than you may think but they aren’t mind readers. We must open our mouths and ask. 

3. Don’t beat yourself up.
You can only do what you can do. If you need to rest, do so and don’t feel bad about it. It is okay to not be able to make it to every single event or do every single activity.

4. Talk honestly with your child/children about MS.
You don’t have to share every single detail — their age will determine how much they will be able to comprehend. But it is important to let them know what’s going on in some capacity. 

5. Let the kids help.
Children love to be involved and included. They can assist with many things and it can be used as bonding time together. So have a seat and designate some tasks or do them with your child if you’re up for it. 

Although parenting with MS has its challenges, I like to look at it in a positive light. I get to show my kids how strong their mother is. I also use the challenges to really let them see that sometimes life will throw you a curve ball but you can always make it through and you don’t give up. Sometimes you may just have to change up your approach slightly but you can still get the job done!